The Importance of Having a Big

At the beginning of last year, I struggled to make friends in the first few weeks of college. Even though I was surrounded by many people and introduced myself to all of them, I never really felt like I was clicking with anyone.

Often, I spent most of my time alone sitting in one of the libraries or sitting in my dorm room right after my classes finished.

I eventually started to meet a few people in my classes. I became close with them, but ultimately, what helped me find and meet people I would have the closest connections with was making friends with upperclassmen.

To keep it short, they were all already established at FSU and had a good network of friends, so they were able to introduce me to their friends. From that point forward, meeting new people who had similar interests to me became a breeze.

I wanted to write about how I met most of them and reflect on how they made my college experience much more enjoyable than I had initially thought it would.

Asian American Student Union

I was initially having trouble making friends at many of the first few general body meetings (GBMs) hosted by affiliates of the Asian American Student Union (AASU). I was going to all of them by myself and coming out, not making any real connections with people I've met.

Then, I realized that I had to find a way to put myself out there more, and I figured that attending GBMs by itself wouldn't be enough.

Many of the AASU affiliates started having a "Big-Little" program where they would pair you with an upperclassman. The idea is that a "Big" would mentor their "Little," and they would essentially help them meet new people throughout their time at FSU.

When I heard about this program, I was immediately intrigued and attended GBMs that were hosting this program.

Looking back, this was probably one of my best decisions throughout my first year.

Admittedly, I didn't think I would get as close with some of my Bigs as I thought. In my mind, I assumed that because I would be getting paired with someone who is a year or two ahead of me, they probably wouldn't want to hang out with me a ton because they might already have the group of friends they would prefer to hang out with over me.

I remember meeting my first Big and conversing with him about our central (computer science) and discussing what we liked to do in our free time. We ended up having a lot in common, and this was one of the few times I had a conversation with someone who didn't feel forced or awkward at any moment.

As several weeks passed, I started to meet many more people through my Bigs. Now and then, one of my Bigs would host a get-together with their friends and Littles, and it was a fantastic bonding experience. I was able to meet many people and create new connections throughout such a short time.

Beyond AASU

Outside of the Big-Little programs, I met plenty of other people I would consider my Big.

One of the funnier ones I could meet was through a banquet I had attended.

I remember meeting this person for the first time at a banquet, and initially, I didn't think we would become that close since we only talked for about a minute or so. However, a few weeks later, I ran into her again on my way to class, and she sat on a bench. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was "people-watching."

I joined her, and we began to sit on the bench and people-watch as we saw others walking to class. We started to have fascinating conversations while doing so, and at some point in our conversation, she said she would pick me up as a mentee.

From there on, she was able to help me meet so many people outside of AASU and was even there for me when I needed someone to talk to or go to for any advice.

Takeaway

The point I'm trying to make is that having a friend who is older than you and can act as your mentor throughout college can significantly change your perspective and approach to multiple situations.

When dealing with some sort of emotional, physical, or mental challenge, having someone to talk to who has been through similar situations can help guide you in the right direction in how to deal with it.

Not only this but becoming friends with people a couple of years ahead of me made it a lot easier to make friends throughout my first year of college. Since they already knew a lot of people, it was easy for them to introduce me and meet many people instead of doing it all by myself.

Of course, it's important not to always depend on that one person who is your mentor, and you may not always find yourself agreeing with their opinions. However, knowing when to reach out versus handling something yourself is a skill that can help you grow as a person.

Maybe one day, you might be a mentor/Big to someone.

Although most of them are gone or will be gone in the next few months, I will always cherish the memories we've made and have an everlasting appreciation for making my college experience the best it can be.


Thanks for reading! :)